Parenting as all of us parents know can be difficult at times. Difficult to find patience, difficult to find strength, difficult to make choices... Choices, yes choices, there seem to be so many of them to make. Especially now that you are the Mom. (As I always say someday you will be the Mom until then it's my turn) But as a parent we seem to have so many choices and sometimes the weight of the world seems to be on your shoulders while making them.

I say this because as Kenny gets older there seem to be more choices that I have to make for him. Life seemed a little easier when he was a baby somehow. How hard is it to decide whether a diaper needs to be changed or not, whether it was time to feed him, or put him to bed? But now, now there are choices like school. What kind of class to put him in? A special needs classroom? A typical classroom? Even thinking "outside the box" how about alternative private schools? What is going to be the best choice for my son and his needs. Well, he has Down Syndrome, seems easy enough right? Special needs classroom seems like a perfect fit... but is it? Is it really the perfect fit for Kenny? How will I know, how do I know almost a year into that type of classroom setting? How can I still not know if this is the right choice for him? When will I know? Choices...

In being in a Special needs classroom he will and does get all of his therapies right in his school day of five hours. Yes, five hour days for a three year old. (Last year he had nine therapies a week at our home, and swim class). There are three to four adults in the classroom at all times with a ratio of thirteen students. They are constantly reinforcing speech. The staff is great.

Again seems perfect, right? But as a Mom some concerns come up for me, and I know, I really do know that no matter where my Kenneth would be he loves doing what the "big boys" do. Good... or bad. This year the "big boys" have "behaviorals". Meaning they have a "plan" for their "behaviorals". Behaviorals may mean different things to different people. Some may think it means not following directions, poor manners, talking back etc. But the parents of children with special needs know that "behaviorals" can mean violence, spitting, laughing at what they do with no filter, the judgement can be impaired from right and wrong. Can the children control it? Not always, and that is why they have a "plan", to try to curb the behavior, to try to put boundaries on it. This year Kenneth has been testing out some things he may or may have not seen in class. Is he still a gentleman? Most of the time, but he does have  things that come out of him sometimes that make your head spin. However you must remain calm, you must remind him that it isn't the way "we behave". You must be diligent in your efforts. You must get sleep at night, so you can do it again the next day.

Would having Kenneth in a "typical" classroom come with the same issues? It can happen anywhere right? It is what Kenneth decides to bring home. But sometimes I wonder if Kenny would bring home more ABC's than new behaviors to try.  Hmmm... Choices...