To sleep or not to sleep... that is the question...

When you start the process of thinking about having children, you have so many thoughts that run through your mind, well at least I did.

When finding out we were pregnant we couldn't be happier, scared, nervous, hopeful... So many different emotions. I was always happy to carry them within me. Even as their due dates came and went I was content in knowing right where they were, and that they were OK. As the time got closer to them coming the sleep schedule started to change. Some nights the movement kept you awake, sometimes the size of the belly kept you awake, sometimes the babies hiccups got you, maybe tonight was your bladder, but it was definitely interrupted sleep. When they came, sleep patterns changed for the feeding schedule, the just staring at them, the watching them breathe. As they got older it was feedings, diaper changes, teething. A little bit older, it might be my tummy hurts, or their cough, the way they were breathing, the nightmare, the monster, the I think it's time for me to start my day at 3 am. Whatever the reason, the sleep pattern was interrupted.

As Kate is now seven and Kenny three you might think the sleep would settle back in to a regular pattern. But as these few weeks have passed by, it is not the case. Maybe they cant sleep because of the cat meowing in the bathroom downstairs, or the chicks peeping, or that it's allergy season, but those sleepless nights keep coming in. Sometimes I lay there and wonder as I have slept in every bed we own, in this house, in one night if and when the sleep, the good, long, well rested sleep will ever come again. But then I think they are just seven and three, we haven't even started...

The teenage years, oh what about then, will it be even less sleep? As many things as you think about when you begin to think about having children, sleep may cross your mind, but I don't think we give it enough thought. I am coming to grips that when you become a parent, whether they are a newborn or an adult, the bottom line is...you are still a parent, you you are always going to wonder if they are safe  and snug in their beds. Maybe that is why I was so content pregnant, I knew they were as safe as they were ever going to be, right there, with my heartbeat soothing them to sleep, and their hiccup rhythm putting me to sleep.